Fear vs. Faith

I was challenged this summer to spend time memorizing scripture. I realized that, with AWANA, wisdom booklets, wisdom search with the family, and my own quiet time, though I know a lot of scripture, I haven't meditated and really worked on memorizing it. So. I started. My goal is Hebrews 11 and 12, maybe 13.

I read several translations of those chapters and decided on NLT. I got the first 3 verses down and stopped. Those needed to just settle in my brain and heart for a while. So. For the last month during all the weird emotional and stressful times I would say and go over those 3 verses. Meditating on them and letting the truth of them sink deep into my soul.
"Faith is the CONFIDENCE that what we hope for will actually happen, it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Through faith the people in days of old earned a good reputation. By faith we understand that the entire universe was formed at God's command, that what we now see did not come from anything that can be seen."
It has been quite the ride. I realize that many things that have happened along the way have been things I didn't see coming. What I see happening right now didn't come from something I knew, it was from something I didn't know or couldn't see. Even now with housing and classes I am seeing that what I thought is changing so much. The end story is written. The first chapter isn't even done. I am eagerly anticipating the next twist in the story. It has me at the edge of my seat. Literally.
I was talking to D last night. It's so nice to be able to call home. She asked me what I thought fear was in my life. After thinking for a bit I see that, for me, fear is lack of confidence. The past 10 days has been testing my confidence levels. From navigating around Oaxaca city to going "sola" on a mission to ask a friend to help clean a house - all in Spanish of course.
Where does my fear and lack of confidence come from? The simple fact that my faith is small enough to make me fear the situation before. When I take my focus off the circumstance before me and look to God to supply what is lacking on my part, I see the situation from His perspective and am able to confidently set out to do what is before me. And it works out. Why do I think that it won't? Or allow my fears to decide that I shouldn't do something because of what might happen?


I block my hopes and dreams when I allow my fear to grow larger than my faith.

I brought my memory cards with me on the bus and in the 40 min it takes to get to the city the next 3 verses of chapter 11.
"It was by faith that Abel brought a more acceptable offering to God than Cain did. Abel's offering gave evidence that he was a righteous man, and God showed his approval of his gifts. Although Abel is long dead, he still speaks to us by his example of faith. It was by faith that Enoch was taken up to heaven without dying - 'he disappeared, because God took him." For before he was taken up, he was known as a person who pleased God. And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him."
I want to have an example of faith that still speaks to people even when I am "long dead". The trust in God that is so evident and permeates through everything I say and do. I have never been much of a dreamer. Recently I have been asking God to give me a vision and a purpose. To help me refine it and see His opportunities. "Without a vision the people perish". Satan would like nothing more than to take away my vision and purpose for being down here. To make my circumstances so big in front of me that I want to give up and go home.

Jamie is known as a person who pleases God and it is impossible to please God without faith. Faith is confidence. I know that God is in control. He has called me here and brought me to this place. And it is GOOD.